CONNECT.

The Art of Connection.

• What does it mean to connect?

• In what ways do you connect with yourself? With others? With the world around you?

We are often conditioned to disconnect from authentic relationship with ourselves.

From a young age many of us are taught to deny aspects of our own reality… 

we are taught what to think, what to feel, and what to “do”. 

(Perhaps we would be wise to teach HOW to think, HOW to feel, and HOW to choose the way we walk through this world?)

Instead, we are often taught to perform. 

Those who perform well are rewarded. 

And those who do not conform to the expectations set forth often face scrutiny, rejection, and hardship. 

We risk disconnection either way- either from ourselves or from others. 

That’s the rub.

 How do we learn to dance with honouring our connection to self and to those around us? 

I describe myself as a ‘recovering people-pleaser’… 

I have often contorted myself in ways that complied with what others expected of me. I often hustled as hard as I could to ensure I performed well. “Pleasing” family, friends, colleagues, employers, my partner, and my children motivated me to hop on the proverbial hamster wheel in order to frenetically mad-dash through my life. 

Yes.

This strategy built connection with those around me. 

Yes.

 This strategy enabled me to function in a world that convinced me that this was how I was “supposed” to invest my time and energy. 

Yes. 

This strategy actually rewarded (and reinforced) my participation in putting the needs of others ahead of myself.

I perpetually prioritized the connection I had with others over building an authentic connection with myself. 

I believed this was the “right” and “healthy” way to support those I loved.

However, over time, dissatisfaction, exhaustion, and resentment grew.

Reluctantly, I began to face the gnawing realization that this strategy was not “right” nor “healthy” for me.

I then began to notice that perhaps what was not “right” nor “healthy” for me 

was not actually “right” or “healthy” for those I love either…

I learned that being disconnected from myself did not serve me nor others well. 

The pace and priorities imposed by the “outside” hindered my ability to re-orient to the inherent rhythms and values that sustain life. I had become so “busy-busy-busy” tending to the external aspects of my life that I forgot how to connect with my internal world. I felt fragmented…. distracted…. untethered…. hollow.

I yearned for change.

 I ached to clean the clutter, evoke some calm, and cultivate connection. 

• I began with creating clarity.

What truly matters most to me?

• I began with curiosity. 

What would carving space to cultivate connection look like?

• I began with sifting.

What aspects of my life need to stay and what pieces need to go? 

• I began with making changes… one (small) decision at a time.

Am I making choices that align with the vision of the life I wish to create?

I discovered that the more I connected with myself, the better I was able to anchor to my values and choose to live my life in ways that are meaningful to me. 

I also began to realize that the more I cultivated meaningful connection with myself, the more I was able to mindfully cultivate connection with others, with nature, and with the world at large. 

Herein lies the liberating and often overlooked significance of how we navigate our walk through this world:

CONNECTION [first, with self] IS KEY.